Despair

Recently, I read a book called Monster. It’s a story written about a young black man on trial for murder. It’s written in his point of view. I read before I go to sleep and sometimes the voice of the characters are so strong they get into my head. I dream about them and I think like the character I’m reading about. Tonight I was reading about when the kid’s mom visited him in jail, about how she cried and how un real it was that she had entered that world. I knew exactly how she felt. I was transported to the first night Mandy lay suspended between life and death. Too scared to think about sleep, I lay in the sub zero waiting room, in an easy chair designed for something other than comfort. I dozed off for a few minutes and when I woke it took me a few seconds to figure out where I was. And then the reality set in. A ball set heavy in my stomach. My chest ached with sorrow, I remembered I was a room-and-a-hallway from my little girl laying in a hospital bed unable to breath for herself, her conscious somewhere un-arousalable by earthly means. I was weighed down with grief. I was tempted to go to that place that said “I’ve had enough, how much can one family take.” But I knew that was a dark cave that could suck me in so deep I’d never escape. Instead, I concentrated on breathing, I tried to calm my pulse and I thought o my self, “This is my world right now. This waiting room is my home, the few minutes I spend with her are my salvation, my job is to pray.” Tears came at odd hours, in odd places. Sleep came when my body demanded it. But always, always prayer was in my heart and on my lips.

Todays blog

I haven't bloged in awhile mainly because it seems rather futel. Who's going to read it anyway other than my wonderful Flip-flop Sparkle Sisters? But I suppose its a venue to express my thoughts frustrations. But then again do I really want to have my thoughts out there for all of cyber-eternity? Ah, hell, noby reads this stuff anyway.
So if somebody happens to read my blog, just know I'm not going to worry about the fact that I can't spell worth a damn. This is my place to purge my thoughts so chunks of bad writing and mispelled words will errupt along with the rest.
Boy I sound really jaded but I'm not. I'm a very happy person. I'm returning to school at 47 which has been an experience. I am dong what I"ve wanted to do since I could hold a pen in my hand. I'm writing and I'm getng a degree in English. I hope to enter the Masters program in the spring. I love every class I'm taking. At first, I was really insecure about being so old. I tend to think the prof is in a conversation with me and I'm dying to answer all the questions. I'm competitive enough that I want be the one that knows all the answers, to have my papers turned in first. Incredibly irritating to the other students. God I hope I'm not one of those old farts that annoys the hell out of everyone. Thereis more tha tI want to say but not tonight. So I'll add more tomorrow or next month.

Horse Day

Hi all. I had the best horse day and just wanted to share. I ride with a couple of other mid-aged women on Tuesday mornings. Usually, we ride in the arena and then maybe take a short trial ride. (it's called hacking in the English world) We decided to go on a long hack today. Wow. It's been awhile since I've been on horseback for 3 hours. It was such a great day. The wind was blowing so it wasn't too hot. We raced up the hills and walked down. We played trail blazer in the trees and practiced backing our horses through tight places. It was fantastic--until my friend Chris's horse exploded. He is a huge thoroughbred. Granted, I ride a pony but the bottom of her horses stomach is almost level with my horses back! Anyway first he kicked my Harry, nailed him. Then he started this " whoo I'm scared I'm backing up" crap. He backed into a fence which scared him. Chris smacked him forward which pissed him off so he reared a lone ranger rear and came down in a full fledge bronco "I want you the hell off my back" buck. Chris flew about 3 feet in the air and landed on his back. It was pretty spectacular. When she landed, he was taught that was not cool and she was the boss. THey had a small war. Little 5'2" Chris won. Yea! We finished our ride.

So after shampooing the horses and turning them out we decided to go to Italy for lunch. Our favorite cafe was closed by this time (it was after 2:00) So we found an antique shop and deli. Sounded charming--except the only lady working spoke about as much English as I speak Spanish. I ordered a Turkey on Wheat and got an avocado on rye. We don't know what Chris got. Liz was easy just a salad . The lady was so concerned that Liz just wanted a salad she came to our table and watched her eat shaking her head and said something like, " No chese, no dress, no, no, bad. I bring chips." We finally convinced her everybody was happy, and although we didn't get what we ordered we did enjoy it. I didn't get home until after 4:00 pm so I'm procrastinating before working. I'm walking on slinky's and my butt is too tired to feel, but it's a great kind of fatigue, like a night of wild passion with your hubby. Okay maybe you have to be a horse person to make that leap. Hope you're all well.
Mary

Horse Day

Hi all. I had the best horse day and just wanted to share. I ride with a couple of other mid-aged women on Tuesday mornings. Usually, we ride in the arena and then maybe take a short trial ride. (it's called hacking in the English world) We decided to go on a long hack today. Wow. It's been awhile since I've been on horseback for 3 hours. It was such a great day. The wind was blowing so it wasn't too hot. We raced up the hills and walked down. We played trail blazer in the trees and practiced backing our horses through tight places. It was fantastic--until my friend Chris's horse exploded. He is a huge thoroughbred. Granted, I ride a pony but the bottom of her horses stomach is almost level with my horses back! Anyway first he kicked my Harry, nailed him. Then he started this " whoo I'm scared I'm backing up" crap. He backed into a fence which scared him. Chris smacked him forward which pissed him off so he reared a lone ranger rear and came down in a full fledge bronco "I want you the hell off my back" buck. Chris flew about 3 feet in the air and landed on his back. It was pretty spectacular. When she landed, he was taught that was not cool and she was the boss. THey had a small war. Little 5'2" Chris won. Yea! We finished our ride.

So after shampooing the horses and turning them out we decided to go to Italy for lunch. Our favorite cafe was closed by this time (it was after 2:00) So we found an antique shop and deli. Sounded charming--except the only lady working spoke about as much English as I speak Spanish. I ordered a Turkey on Wheat and got an avocado on rye. We don't know what Chris got. Liz was easy just a salad . The lady was so concerned that Liz just wanted a salad she came to our table and watched her eat shaking her head and said something like, " No chese, no dress, no, no, bad. I bring chips." We finally convinced her everybody was happy, and although we didn't get what we ordered we did enjoy it. I didn't get home until after 4:00 pm so I'm procrastinating before working. I'm walking on slinky's and my butt is too tired to feel, but it's a great kind of fatigue, like a night of wild passion with your hubby. Okay maybe you have to be a horse person to make that leap. Hope you're all well.
Mary

Check out Sparle This

I am a terrible blogger. I have a commitment to blog once a week on the writer site, Sparke This. Check out the site, there are great words of wisdom.That sounded arrogant, but there are seven writers who contribute to the site.
I finished Harry Potter 7 on Sunday night. I loved the book. I would love to have a dialogue with other fans. I think it was a perfect way to close the series.
When I finished, I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I had recored the J.K. Rawling inerview with Dateline, so I watched it after I finished the book. It was a really nice way to let go and say goodbye.

my world

As most of you know I'm researching human trafficking. The problem is so enormous and heinous it is tempting to pretend it doesn't exist. I have learned about the selling of children as young as 6 months old for sex, kidnapping kids to be used in militia, the murder of toddlers for organ transplants (it's not an urban myth) and slavery on coca and coffee plantations. Most of these atrocities are far-removed from our everyday life but I've run across some research that we should all be aware of because we can make a difference with little effort.


Ninety percent of West African coca plantations have slaves, meaning 2/5 of the world's coca is derived from slavery. "Some victims wear dog collars and are referred to as "the creature" or "my slave." Locked in sheds at night, they urinate in buckets. If they try to run they are beaten. If they break some minor discipline their clothes are removed, they are thrown on the floor, hands tied, beaten with whips until their body is raw and covered by their tears." Source Free the Slaves

The US is the largest importer of these same beans. In 2001 Congress introduced binding legislation that would have required chocolate companies to label their products "slave free", none of the major chocolate companies could meet this requirement! In response the companies agreed to a volluntary protocol to eliminate child labor on West African farms. The result was the Harkin-Engel Protocol, which establlished a 4 year time table to adhere to standards set by the International Labor Organization. In July 2005 however, the Protocol expired without any system to monitor or enforce it's stipulations against slavery. The coca companies claim they are only willing to reduce child labor by 50% in only 2 of the West African countries by 2008.

Nestle is the largest food corporation in the world so I visited their website. Page 28 of "The Nestle Commitment in Africa" speaks directly to the problem of child slave labor.
"As a measure of our
commitment Nestlé has and will
continue to play a lead role in the
design and implementation of a
certification system, which will
ensure that continuous progress
is made towards eliminating child
labour in cocoa production while
embedding responsible,
sustainable practices in the
supply chain. "
Nestle seems to be committed to reducing the problem. However, one of the dirty facts of the major food corporations that I have learned is this. They do not buy directly from farmers and therefore have no legal duty to make sure the coffee or cocoa is slave free. Here is how it works. Independent coffee growers and cocoa farmers grow the raw material and bring it to market. THe raw material is bought at market by processors this could be a major food corporation or a processor who sells to the food corporation. THe corporation pretty much keeps their hands out of the dirty side and make billions of dollars on their coffee and cocoa production. ( I've been researching the coffee industry also that's a whole new sordid world.)

Below is Nestle's statement on the situation.
While Nestlé does not buy cocoa directly from farmers, nor do we employ any cocoa farmers, we are committed to responsible cocoa growing. In collaboration with governments, labour unions, NOGs and other members of the chocolate and cocoa industry Nestlé is part of the Harkin-Engel Protocol that was developed to support a cocoa farming certification system to ensure continuous progress is made towards responsible, sustainable practices in the supply chain.

So basically what I am saying is this. THe next time you have a chocolate craving think about where it's coming from and decide if you want to support this industry.
Off my soapbox for now.
Mary